Truth Us The Hardest Pill To Swallow
by Maruading Storyteller
Summary: Truth is sometimes the most elusive of things, it is always just under the surface, if one only knows where to look. Kagome thought that she knew what she wanted and that she was grown up enough to follow that path. But when the truth is brought to light,
1. Pt 1: The Problem

Truth Is The Hardest Pill To Swallow

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A/N- This was a fan fiction that has really been bugging me for a while so I decided to heck with it! And here's the result, anyway, I don't own InuYasha or anything about the characters, but I can have fun messing with them, so that's good enough for me! Anyway, I hope you guys like this...I think it turned out rather well...it takes place after the episode- Kagome's Instinctive Choice

Here's the full summery-

Truth is sometimes the most elusive of things, it is always just under the surface, if one only knows where to look. Kagome thought that she knew what she wanted adn that she was grown up enough to follow that path. But when the truth is brought to the light, Kagome will be forced to see just how childish she has really been.

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Part 1: The Problem

Kagome's Pov-

I always thought that things would be so much easier when I grew older, my life would be a walk in the park. But that is only logical for a three year old who's only worry in life is where her blanky disappeared to. It seemed that as I grew up, the adults always had it easier, because they never got bossed around and told that they couldn't do this or couldn't do that.

Ah, to be young.

Heh, I wish it really was that simple, but as I found out on my fifteenth birthday life is never as simple as it seems.

Meeting InuYasha and having the jewel break, that is what forced me to finally realize that things are harder than they seem. But still…I never was fully grown up, I still believed that it would be simple to fall in love and even more simple to have him fall in love with me.

You know, the whole, '_I Love You, I Love You Too_.' Heh, if only.

I soon found that it was a lot harder than that and that love is something more than just words. Here, let me tell you how I learned this…

Flash Back-

Normal Pov-

Night was almost upon the InuTatchi and they were hurrying back to Kaede's village. As they neared it though, they noticed that something was definitely off about how quite and tranquil the village seemed.

"Stay here, Miroku and I will have a look around first."

Kagome nodded her head as she dropped off InuYasha's back, landing with a muffled '_thump_' upon the still damp earth, Kagome walked over towards Sango. Shippou leapt off Miroku's shoulder and onto Kagome's as they watched InuYasha and Miroku disappear into the village ahead.

"What do you think is wrong Kagome?" Kagome shrugged her shoulders as she glanced to the side, she froze to the spot at what she saw. Looking back towards the village and towards Sango, Kagome couldn't remain in place any longer.

"Shippou will you stay here with Sango for me, I need to go somewhere real quick." Shippou nodded his head as he jumped down next to Sango, Kagome locked eyes with Sango for a brief moment before she turned and took off into the trees.

'_Please tell me I'm wrong…if I'm not, what is she doing here and what about InuYasha? It didn't look like he noticed her yet..._'

Nearing the tree line, Kagome slew to a walk as a soul collector flew past her. It seemed to be leading her somewhere, somewhere that Kagome was reluctant but determined to reach. Following closely with the swaying creature, Kagome sighted the nearby river.

Knowing that it was now or never, Kagome stepped out into the open and faced Kikyou.

She was standing next to the river, her hand outstretched to her side, as if she wanted Kagome to take it. Not sure what to do, Kagome approached tentatively, "what do you want Kikyou…InuYasha went,"

"I'm not here to talk with him. Please…take it, I won't harm you." Kikyou turned slightly to where her soft and strangely warm brown eyes met Kagome's.

Strangely drawn, Kagome approached and cautiously took Kikyou's hand, it was warm and soft to the touch. Shocked, Kagome turned confused eyes upon Kikyou and was met with a gentle smile.

"How…"

"That I just found out myself, after you brought me back…I was haunted by several memories that were not my own. Has the same happened to you…Kagome?"

Surprised that Kikyou had actually used her name, Kagome looked at the water, her gaze unfocusing as she recalled the memories of how Kikyou reached her death. They still made her want to cry and want to kill Naraku even more.

Sighing, Kagome turned to lock her eyes with Kikyou, "I…I saw how it happened…how you…died."

Kagome turned her eyes to look at her feet when she felt a hand touch her chin and lift her head, Kagome choked back a sob as her eyes met the sorrow filled and understanding eyes of Kikyou.

"It's alright Kagome…I, do you remember when you were dispelling the miasma from the wound that Naraku inflicted upon me?"

Kagome nodded her head, "yes, it was painful for me. Then everything went black and I started seeing things, which was when I saw what happened to you."

Kikyou smiled as she looked back at the water, "yes…I was seeing something myself, you were bitten by mistress centipede and that was when you freed InuYasha."

"That is what you saw…I see, I witnessed him being sealed and you saw him being freed. But what does this have to do with…uh, how human you've become?"

Kagome eyed Kikyou closely, looking for any sign that she wasn't who she seemed to be. A soft chuckle was her answer.

"I'm not finished yet, when I was seeing that memory of yours, I heard your voice. You were telling me not to believe it and that it wasn't InuYasha. But now that I know what you saw, I understand what you meant."

Kikyou turned to face Kagome completely, smiling sadly Kikyou touched Kagome's cheek. "It was you that made me see, I was only able to hate and yes, I hated you because you could feel it when InuYasha touched you and he could actually talk to you. That made me so angry, in fact, it made me jealous. But after you brought me back, I was unable to hate you. What you did was unselfish and loving."

Kagome couldn't stop the tears that started rolling down her cheeks as she listened to what Kikyou was saying, '_I…is this really happening? Is this even possible? Kikyou…_'

Unable to hold it in any longer, Kagome released Kikyou's hand and pulled her into a hug, she continued to sob uncontrollably into Kikyou's shoulder. "Th…thank you, Kikyou. I never thought to hear something like this from you. Please tell me this is real," Kagome pulled back and looked up into Kikyou's eyes, "your alive now, aren't you?"

Kikyou nodded her head as she smiled gently, "yes I am, but there is one thing that must be done before I can become human again. The soul collectors need something to sever my bond to them, or else they will remain by my side forever."

Tilting her head, Kagome pulled back to where her hand was upon Kikyou's shoulder. "What do you mean by that, how is that possible? Can I help you in anyway?"

Kikyou turned away and looked towards the trees where Kagome had come from, her expression cold and emotionless. Kagome followed her eyes and nearly fell backwards when she saw InuYasha standing there.

He didn't look happy, in fact he looked angry as hell.

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A/N- Ah...the end, heh, I hate it when the chapter comes to a close...it makes it just that much harder to start the next one...anyway, I hope you guy's will review and tell me what your take on this is. They really help and I know that Kikyou and Kagome seem alittle Ooc...but that will soon make sense...because to me...this is how they really feel. If they could just sit down and hash it out they would all be better off, but allas, that isn't going to happen now is it? 

Enough of that, I hope you guys will come back for the rest, because the story has just started!

Till next time, Ja Ne!


	2. Pt 2: Making A Choice

Truth Is The Hardest Pill To Swallow

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A/N- Hey guys...it's about time that I updated this...I hope yah enjoy this chapt! Also, this is dedicated to my best bud on her b-day, Happy 19th Jenn!

Disclaimer- Don't own Inu...so quit rubbing it in already!

Enjoy!

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Part 2: Making A Choice

Kagome's Pov-

I never knew that I would be caught in such a situation with InuYasha of all people, but now that I look back on it…I can understand that it was necessary.

Knowing InuYasha, he probably thought that I was betraying him with Kikyou of all people, which would be the only explanation for how he behaved.

But boy was he off, there's no way I'd every go for another girl, not even if I was forced into that situation somehow…I'd rather die.

Still, I will never forget the decision that I made that day…that one choice alone brought me to where I am today…

Flashback-

Normal Pov-

"Kikyou…Kagome…what is going on here?"

As InuYasha approached, Kagome felt more and more like fleeing rather than having to face what had just been brought upon her. But when she felt Kikyou's grip upon her hand tighten briefly, Kagome knew that if she fled then this would carry on forever.

"It is not what you think InuYasha…Kagome and I were just conversing when you showed up."

Kagome's eyes shot to Kikyou, as she began to wonder how Kikyou could handle the situation so calmly, but then the answer struck her.

'_It's because she is more mature than I am…after all, I am still only sixteen…I have never really experienced anything that would make me grow up…but now…_'

InuYasha's expression seemed to only darken as he glanced between them, "wh…what were you talking about?" His voice was low and subdued, as if he still couldn't believe that Kagome and Kikyou were getting along.

Suddenly Kagome felt the pressure of the situation, InuYasha was there and Kikyou had said…'_what is it exactly that her soul collectors need to free her? And how come Kikyou didn't seem surprised when InuYasha showed up, it was like she was expecting him or something. None of this makes sence…_'

Kikyou must have noticed Kagome's confusion because she touched Kagome's shoulder, getting her attention, "it's alright Kagome…I will explain. InuYasha, please leave…Kagome and I must continue our conversation, alone."

InuYasha seemed to be dazed by Kikyou's request, because instead of replying, he simply stood there with a lost look upon his face. It was that look that forced Kagome to turn away, she just couldn't stand to see such a confused and hurt look in InuYasha's eyes.

After a moment though, he seemed to come out of it. Giving a hesitant nod of his head, InuYasha turned to leave, "alright, I'll leave, but I want an explanation…" with that said he disappeared into the trees from which he came.

Kagome immediately felt calmer, but that flew out the window when Kikyou gave her a sorrowful look, a look that told Kagome that she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear.

"Kagome…" releasing Kagome's hand, Kikyou sank down onto her knees before the river. Reaching out she ran her fingers through the clear flowing water, her eyes swirling with many emotions.

Gulping, Kagome sank down to her knees as well, her expression confused. "What is it Kikyou…what's wrong?"

"You still can't see it can you, the heavy burden that you have given me by saving me that day…" Kikyou's voice seemed to break, but she shook her head and turned gentle eyes upon Kagome.

"But that doesn't matter now…what matters is that we are here now and a decision must be made. It is up to you Kagome…only you can determine my future…or if I even have one in the first place."

Only getting more confused as a deep foreboding rose within the pit of her stomach, Kagome shifted away from Kikyou a little more, turning away finding the look in Kikyou's eyes to be too much to bear.

"Please…just tell me what is it that I need to do for you Kikyou…"

Hearing the shifting of clothes at her side, Kagome glanced over to see that Kikyou had opened the front of her haori, showing her breast wrappings and a scar that ran from the column of her neck disappearing beneath the cloth wrappings.

A blush of embarrassment made its way across Kagome's face as she jerked away from Kikyou's side, thoroughly confused. "Wha…what are you doing?!"

"This scar is what you gave me after you healed me…you put much of yourself and your powers into healing me. But what I wish to ask you…is more important, Kagome…there is only one way to let me live again…but it would mean a sacrifice on your part."

Kagome's eyes widened at Kikyou's words, she understood now, '_after all, you can get something without giving something…but what am I supposed to give up exactly?_'

"What kind of sacrifice Kikyou…" Kagome knew that she wasn't going to like what Kikyou was going to tell her, but Kagome knew that if it would enable Kikyou to live again, then she would do whatever it took…

'_Even give up InuYasha…I just can't let Kikyou continue to suffer for something that was never her fault to begin with, besides…InuYasha still loves her and if that would make him happy as well...then I would do it without a second thought._'

Closing her eyes, Kikyou proceeded to expel all of the souls that she had collected and as they floated about her, they gave the glade an otherworldly glow and Kagome couldn't help but find it beautiful in a sad way.

Panting and weak, Kikyou began to fall over when Kagome gripped her shoulder and held her up, supporting her. At this Kikyou smiled sadly, she didn't wish to do what she was about to but she had to know if there was a chance, first though…she had to know something.

"Kagome…I must ask you, do…do you love InuYasha?"

Her eyes darkening at Kikyou's words, Kagome knew now that whatever it was that she had to do to save Kikyou, it would make it so that InuYasha was beyond her reach. Taking a deep breath, Kagome reaffirmed her resolve to help no matter what, even though she felt her heart breaking in the process, "yes…I do Kikyou, but InuYasha still loves you and I know you love him just as much, the love you two had for each other transcended even death. If what I must do to make you live Kikyou, forces me to give up InuYasha…then…then, I will do it just so that you two can have the happiness that you both deserve so very much."

Finishing that sentence had to be one of the hardest things that Kagome had ever done in her life and now that they had passed her lips, she knew that it was time to give up InuYasha and move on, at least that way…he would be truly happy and that is all that Kagome ever wanted for him to begin with.

Kikyou was shocked speechless at Kagome's words, she never expected that Kagome would be willing to do anything to help her and so that she could be happy, "Kagome, I am sorry that this had to turn out to be the only way…"

Closing her eyes, Kikyou touched her forehead to Kagome's as she began an ancient chant, the wind began to swirl about them as the power of the spell grew stronger and stronger.

Kagome could feel as her body was slowly becoming cold and lifeless, that was all it took for Kagome to know what her sacrifice would be, she would have to take Kikyou's place and become a specter that would wonder the earth in restlessness for all time. But as she felt the change coming to an end, Kagome noticed that her heart still was warm and full of life, something that surprised her to no end.

Her eyes were wide in fear and confusion as she looked at the now completely human Kikyou, "what does this mean?! My…my heart…it…" she didn't get to finish, Kikyou had placed her hands over Kagome's heart and had a soothing smile upon her lips.

"This is my gift Kagome, for the sacrifice you have made and all that you have given up. I used what power I had to allow this clay body to hold your human heart, once you find someone that can truly love you in this form no matter what, you will become human again and then you can be truly happy. I know it's not much, but it was all I was able to do…I'm sorry that this happened Kagome."

Reaching out, Kagome touched Kikyou's shoulder and smiled at her gently, "no…there's nothing to be sorry for Kikyou, I am grateful for what you have done and I will never forget it, but there is no need to blame yourself for this. I was the one who made the choice and I don't regret it, I have only one thing to ask before we return to the others, do not tell the others what I have become. I can mask my scent so not even InuYasha can tell and I don't want the others to worry or be angry at you, so please do this for me."

Getting to her feet, Kikyou held her hand out, Kagome took her hand and got to her feet at Kikyou's side. Hearing her clothes make a strange shifting noise, she looked down to see that she was clad in priestess robes, except her hakamas were dark blue in color while her top was red.

It was a strange combination to tell the truth, but for some strange reason, Kagome felt it suited her perfectly. Looking at Kikyou, Kagome could only voice one thing, "how?"

Kikyou just smiled, "you are a priestess Kagome, you have to get used to this kind of clothing sooner or later…"

Kagome's felt her face flush in embarrassment and slight annoyance, letting out a huff, Kagome turned from Kikyou and crossed her arms. "Yeah well…it doesn't mean I have to like it!"

After hearing soft laughter coming from behind her, Kagome turned and nearly fell over in shock at what greeted her, Kikyou's eyes were sparkling with life and care as she continued to laugh with her soft melodious voice.

When her laughter finally died down, Kikyou walked towards the tree line nearby and noticing that Kagome had yet to follow, she stopped and turned. "Well…are you coming?"

Jumping slightly, Kagome just nodded her head and smiled as she walked to Kikyou, she knew at that moment…her life would forever change. As they finally left the clearing in which so much had happened, Kagome only hoped that whatever was coming, she would be able to be happy in the end.

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A/N- Bet you weren't expecting that! Heh, anyway, the next chapt is in the works as we speak. If u have any questions, just ask! Till next time! 


	3. Pt 3: It Begins

Truth Is The Hardest Pill To Swallow

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A/N- Hey there peps! Long time no see! 

Now before we get this story going, I just wanted to tell yah all that right now, I am curently looking for a beta to help me with my work...so if your interested, hitting the pm button is right for you!

Anyway, I don't own any characters from InuYasha, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi. _Bows respectfully_, it's the idea and storyline that is mine...also, the song Angel's belongs to Within Temptation.

That's about it right now, so lets get on with the fic!

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Part 3: It Begins…

Kagome's Pov-

I can still see the look on InuYasha's face when we returned to the village, together…me dressed in priestess robes and laughing happily with Kikyou of all people.

But you know what, I didn't really care at the time…I was just happy that Kikyou and InuYasha could finally be together after everything that had happened to them.

I will admit though, that sometimes when I think back on that I feel sad that it turned out the way it did, but as I've said before it was all better off in the end.

Times will always change, no matter how much you might wish they didn't…besides, life's full of surprises. Some of which, you'll soon find out yourselves, that is of course, if you still wish to join me as I continue my story.

The choice is yours…

Flashback-

Normal Pov-

Three months had passed sence the InuTatchi had gotten the surprise of a lifetime, Kagome and Kikyou had entered the village looking almost the same, but what the real surprise was is that they found out that not only would Kikyou be joining their group but that she was now 100 percent, alive and human.

Of course, it had been an interesting mess for Kagome and Kikyou when they had to explain just how such a thing was possible for someone who's already dead, not to mention the whole soul thing.

After the whole group had gotten used to having the once dead miko around, things finally began to return to normal, but as with all things, some feelings and some habits just die hard…

"Hentai!"

As several birds vacated the trees that they had perched in at the loud shriek, the clearing grew silent once again, well…as silent as it got with this particular group anyway.

"Houshi, I swear if you do that one more time…" Sango was currently clutching her favorite choice of weapon as she held it over the trebling monk before her, around them the other members of the InuTatchi just rolled their eyes or '_feh'd_' before they left the monk and slayer to their own devices. They had seen it several times before and frankly had grown used to it by now.

Having recently returned from her time only to set out on yet another trip after Naraku and the last jewel shards, Kagome was exhausted. Because of her new '_condition_' as she and Kikyou had come to call it, every night Kagome would find herself sleep walking while surrounded by her new best friends, the soul collectors.

It wasn't the same though as it had been for Kikyou, Kagome had soon found out that having a human heart in a clay body made it so that she didn't need to feed off the souls of the dead and that she was still, technically…human.

But in order to keep herself from wasting away, she had to spend several hours of every evening with the soul collectors or her body as well as her heart would fade away into nothing.

It had been a very hard three months for Kagome, but having Kikyou by her side the whole time to help and teach her the in's and out's of being a priestess made it pass by much faster and easier, soon Kagome had come to terms with her new life.

The day had been pretty uneventful, they had been traveling for hours and had decided to take a small break to rest up, now that there were two priestesses in their group hardly any demons wished to attack, knowing that it would be a futile effort on their part.

Because of this and the fact that both of the women he cared about were in the same place at one time, InuYasha was starting to get really bored and annoyed, he couldn't figure out what was different about Kagome but he knew something about her was off…way off.

The others had seemed to notice this as well but not wishing to pry, they let things be and did their best to ignore it, but just like InuYasha they were finding it too hard to continue to do this and they all knew that sometime soon one of them was going to snap and outright ask her what was up. Hopefully that was still a long ways off, if only they knew how wrong they were.

Kagome and Kikyou were currently discussing herbs and since the sun was starting to set, they were trying to figure out a way that Kagome could leave and not have the others know about it. InuYasha had become overly attentive to them both lately, so no matter what they were doing, he would demand to be let in on it and they were running out of excuses fast.

Finally when they both had agreed on what they were going to do, Kagome got up from her crouching position and started to walk towards the trees, as expected InuYasha leapt right in front of her his eyes hard. "Where are you going Kagome?"

Keeping her face clear of any emotion whatsoever Kagome placed a hand on her hip as she raised an eyebrow at his question, "What are you, my mother? I'm going for a walk InuYasha and no you're not coming with me, besides, I'm a big girl and I can protect myself. So move…"

The expression on InuYasha's face was utterly priceless, his jaw was dropped and his eyes were blown wide as his arms hung loosely at his sides, Kagome would have laughed but she had to stick to the plan so she just shook her head and walked around InuYasha or at least tried too.

She had gotten but one foot away before Inuyasha had clamped a clawed hard around her upper left arm, seeing the blood welling up as his claws dug into her skin Kagome was surprised that she didn't seem to be able to feel it, not wanting InuYasha to notice this Kagome let out a small whimper and nearly smiled when InuYasha immediately released her.

He opened his mouth to apologize when Kikyou walked up and placed a hand on InuYasha's shoulder, "just go Kagome." Nodding her head, Kagome turned and strode from the clearing, once she was under the cover of the trees, Kagome smiled as she took off at a run.

After running for several minutes, Kagome had reached a small pond that seemed to have fogged over somewhat, not sensing any demons in the area Kagome closed her eyes as she called to the soul collectors. Hearing a low pitched whale-like sound, Kagome opened her eyes and looked up at the sky, there in the distance and closing fast she could see the soul collectors.

A sad smile crossed her lips as she watched them descend about her, reaching out she gently touched the nearest one and giggled lightly when it pressed back against her touch, humming silently to herself, Kagome began to sway back and forth.

The music in her mind began to play and Kagome let her smile deepen as she started to dance as her voice filled the clearing, "Sparkling angel, I believed, you were my savior in my time of need. Blinded by faith, I couldn't hear, all the whispers, the warnings so clear."

Kicking her foot in the cold water, Kagome let herself twirl in a circle, "I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door. There's no escape now, no mercy no more. No remorse, cause I still remember, the smile when you tore me apart."

As Kagome continued to move with the soul collectors about the trees and the pond, she didn't notice that someone had started to approach, drawn by her voice most likely.

"You took my heart, deceived me right from the start. You showed me dreams, I wish they would turn into real. You broke the promise and made me realize. It was all just a lie."

Sighing, Kagome paused as she hugged the tree she was leaning against, tears had begun to form in her eyes. Thoughts swirled through her mind and Kagome shook it off as she pushed against the tree before running back over to the edge of the pond, kneeling she ran her fingers through the still water.

"Sparkling angel, I couldn't see, your dark intentions, your feelings for me. Fallen angel, tell me why? What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?"

Kagome was letting her tears run freely now, she didn't care anymore, she wouldn't. Looking out across the water, Kagome watched as the last rays of the sun finally set, leaving the place in which she sat shrouded in darkness.

"I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door. There's no escape now, no mercy no more. No remorse, cause I still remember, the smile when you tore me apart." Kagome shifted as she placed her palm flat across the surface of the water, "you took my heart, deceived me right from the start. You showed me dreams, I wish they would turn into real. You broke the promise and made me realize. It was all just a lie."

Standing again, Kagome held her arms wide as she tilted her head back, letting the newly rising moon to bathe her in it's light.

"Could have been forever. Now we have reached the end." Humming, Kagome started to spin in a slow circle as the soul collectors began to encircle her, off to the side a bush shifted and Kagome nearly smiled.

She had an audience.

"This world may have failed you, it doesn't give you reason why. You could have chosen a different path in life." Kagome slowly began to walk towards where she had heard the noise come from, keeping her voice steady Kagome continued, "The smile when you tore me apart."

"You took my heart, deceived me right from the start. You showed me dreams, I wish they would turn into real. You broke the promise and made me realize. It was all just a lie."

Having finally reached the bush, Kagome turned her back to it as she spun quickly in another circle, "Could have been forever. Now we have reached the end."

Smiling, Kagome finally stood still as she stretched her arms in front of her, "I know your there, come on out, there's no need to hide."

For several moments there was silence but finally the bushes shifted again and Kagome smirked to herself, turning Kagome's expression quickly faded into one of surprise.

"Hello Kagome…it's been a while, I'm sorry I didn't come right out. It's just that you have such a beautiful voice…" the person before Kagome bowed low and Kagome gulped uncertainly, "Wha…What are you doing here, Houjo?"

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A/N- Don't kill me for this! _hides behind a tree._ This was the only way to end this peacfully and have you rarin' for the next one...anyway, I hope I can get the next chapt out this month sometime...I'll try, till then, please review and thanks for reading!

Ja Ne!


	4. Pt 4: A Change Of Pace

Truth Is The Hardest Pill To Swallow

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A/N- Yo! Waz up peeps?

Been a while since I last updated this and I thought I'd do it while I had a chance.

Disclaimer- InuYasha is Takahashi-sans, brain child, not mine. But the storyline sure the hell is...

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapt!

'_Thoughts_'

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Part 4: A Change Of Pace

Kagome's Pov-

Surprises come in all shapes and sizes and you never know when they'll strike…but at that time…

Heh, believe me, it was really surprising to see that of all people, it was Akitoki Houjo who came out from behind that bush.

But as they say, life's greatest surprises are the one's that are right under your nose, or happen when you least expect it.

It was an interesting way to meet again. At the time, Shippou and my little brother were the only ones that I had ever sung to. I don't know why they loved to have me sing…but I think that finally, now I understand.

I had always felt that I had a horrid singing voice, almost the equivalent of a cat having its tail slammed in a door. Actually, nail's scratching a chalkboard is closer to the truth.

But I soon found that I was wrong and that it was myself that I was most afraid of, not my singing voice.

I was such a child back then…

Flashback-

Normal Pov-

Feeling her face burn with a deep blush at being caught frolicking with her soul stealers and singing of all things, Kagome averted her eyes to the ground at her feet, her toes digging into the dirt.

"Heh, eto…I was just passing through and I heard something. So…I, I followed it. You have a beautiful voice Kagome, but you're an even better dancer."

Her head jerking up at that, Kagome locked her wide eyes on the blushing young man before her, '_did…did he just say that I was beautiful…oh god, strike me down now before I make an even bigger fool out of myself._'

"Would you…eto…be willing to sing for me again, please?" Houjo's eyes were soft as he flashed Kagome a soft smile, he didn't want to force her into it, but now that he had heard her voice, he would do anything to hear it again.

Her heart beat increasing at Houjo's words, Kagome felt a wave of joy and surprise wash over her, '_he...he really wants to hear me sing? Does he really like my voice that much?_'

"Really, you want me to sing to you?"

As Houjo just smiled and nodded his head, Kagome found that she couldn't stop the giggle that was rising in her throat. Hearing Kagome's soft laughter, Houjo felt another blush stain his cheeks as a wave of contentedness washed over him.

Shaking her head, Kagome tilted her head, "alright, come."

Holding out her hand, Kagome smiled gently when Houjo took it slowly his face turning deep red, her hand closed about his and he couldn't help but marvel at how small her hand was when compared to his own.

Pulling Houjo along, Kagome lead him to the pond that she had danced near, reaching a fallen tree log, Kagome released his hand and watched as he sat down.

Turning her back on him, Kagome took a deep breath before she turned to face Houjo, '_alright Kagome, there's no backing down now, you got yourself into this…time to show some of that back bone._'

"The song I'm going to sing is called '_Gomenasai_,' it's one of my favorites…and eto…I really couldn't think of anything else, so…I hope you don't mind this one." Seeing Houjo nod his head, Kagome let her eyes close as she listened to the music in her head.

'_Here we go…_'

"What I thought wasn't mine, in the light, wasn't one of a kind, a precious pearl. When I wanted to cry, I couldn't cause I, wasn't allowed." Turning, Kagome kept her eyes closed as she walked towards the pond before them.

"Gomenasai, for everything. Gomenasai, I know I let you down. Gomenasai till the end, I never needed a friend, like I do now." Kagome kicked some stray dirt into the water before she placed a hand over her face, "What I thought wasn't known, so innocent, was a delicate doll, of porcelain."

Feeling the wind blowing past and whipping at her hair, Kagome heard an intake of breath behind her and could feel a blush start to burn her cheeks, she couldn't believe that she was actually doing this.

"Gomenasai, for everything. Gomenasai, I know I let you down. Gomenasai, I never needed a friend, like I do now." As she paused, Kagome slid her hand from her face and held it out as she let her body twirl once in a slow circle.

"What I thought was a dream, and a rush, was as real as it seemed, a privilege. When I wanted to tell you, I made a mistake, I walked away. Gomenasai, for everything. I never needed a friend, like I do now."

Coming to a stop, Kagome faced Houjo and saw the awe sparkling in his eyes, feeling a lump rise in her throat, Kagome struggled to finish the song.

"Gomenasai, I let you down. Gomenasai till the end, I never needed a friend." A small smile had made its way onto Kagome lips as she reached the end of the song, "Like I do now."

Sighing, Kagome sat down a few feet from Houjo and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. '_He probably hates me now…I just know it…god! Why did I have to agree to sing for him?_'

"That was wonderful Kagome…sad but beautiful none the less. Arigato for singing for me, I…I hope that you will do so again sometime…" Kagome looked up and turned towards Houjo to find that he was blushing heavily as he looked down at his clasped hands. It was clear that he was nervous and Kagome couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face at that.

"I'm glad…I…I don't really sing much in front of others, I don't think I'm really good at it…" blushing heavily, Kagome started to turn away when a soft touch on her shoulder stopped her.

Houjo was currently giving her a serious look as he tightened his grip upon her shoulder, his fingers digging into the fabric of her haori, "don't Kagome, you shouldn't say such things about yourself. I find your voice wonderful and I would listen to you sing forever if I could. That is why I am so grateful that you sang for me…"

Feeling as if he had said too much, Houjo slowly released Kagome's shoulder and started to pull his hand away when Kagome placed her hand over his, her eyes were soft and filled with unshed tears as she gazed back at him. It was enough to have his heart clenching painfully in his chest as he thought of a way to bring a smile back to her face.

"Eto, I'm sorry if what I said upset you, I'm not trying to make you feel bad so please don't cry Kagome." Flashing Kagome the most comforting smile that he could, Houjo gripped her shoulder and gave it a little squeeze, hoping that it was enough.

Kagome's body trembled as she felt more tears gather in her eyes, she was trying her best to keep herself calm, but after hearing Houjo's words and seeing that he thought he had hurt her feelings somehow Kagome felt her heart twist in her chest.

Seeing that more tears seemed to appear, Houjo felt desperate and did the only other thing he could think of to cheer her up. Taking a deep breath and feeling his face start to burn with that all too familiar blush, Houjo slid an arm about Kagome's waist and pulled her closer to his side.

Kagome stiffened as she felt Houjo's arm curl about her form and when she felt the side of his hard chest against her own, Kagome nearly screamed and pulled away, but for some reason both her voice and her body seemed to be out of her reach at the moment.

When Kagome didn't pull away or tell him to stop, Houjo felt relief and something else flood through him. He let that relief fill him up while he squashed down that other feeling, deeming it not appropriate at the moment.

"I don't know what else to do to cheer you up Kagome, so please…forgive me." With that said, Houjo moved his other hand from Kagome's shoulder and let it join its brother as he brought Kagome's form fully against his own in a gentle embrace.

Not knowing how else to react at such gentleness, Kagome let her arms wrap about Houjo's form as well, locking him in the embrace. About them her soul stealers gathered and their strange light filled the clearing, Kagome felt her heart flutter as her body began to shake.

Houjo felt her body shaking and he pulled back to look at her, only to see the soul collectors about him. Freezing in place, Houjo gave Kagome a worried look, "Kagome…don't move. There are specters surrounding us…"

Hearing his words, Kagome looked up at him and saw that he was frightened, "they aren't specters Houjo, they are soul stealers…" seeing his face pale at her words, Kagome looked away as she reached out a hand and touched the nearest one, "my soul stealers…"

Gulping uncertainly, Houjo lifted a shaking hand and stretched it towards one of the floating beings. Seeing this action Kagome nodded her head and the soul stealer moved forwards, letting Houjo's hand come into contact with it.

Immediately Houjo's face brightened and a look of wonder filled his eyes, "it…it's warm…"

Kagome smiled at his words as she called the other's closer, letting them brush against Houjo pulling a soft laugh from him, "they are a part of me but I do not have them take souls, in that way they are pure, the reason why they are warm is because they are living just as I am and in a sense they carry my feelings and thoughts with them."

Sparing a glance at Kagome's face, Houjo nearly froze at the way Kagome looked. Her hair was drifting softly in the wind even as it was being bathed by the silvery light that seemed to pulsate from the soul stealers that surrounded her, her face was set in a content and carefree look, making her entire form radiate with an inner light of it's very own.

'_She looks like an..._' "...angel..."

"Huh?" Shifting her head to look at Houjo in confusion, Kagome saw Houjo's eyes flash with something before it disappeared beneath layers of embarrassment and naivety. Shaking off the breathless feeling that little flash had given her, Kagome just continued to smile at him before looking up into the sky, only to see that it had grown a lot later and Kagome knew that she needed to be heading back.

The very thought of leaving made Kagome's heart sink but she knew that it was necessary, lest her friends come looking for her and see something that they weren't ready for just quite yet, '_as_ _much as I don't want to...I really need to leave._'

"Houjo, it was nice talking to you...but, I need to head back to camp now..." an idea suddenly stuck Kagome as she spoke and she couldn't stop a large smile from stretching her lips, "do you want to come with me?"

Houjo blinked in surprise at Kagome's question before letting a soft smile cross his lips, rubbing his shoulder in slight uncomfort he nodded his head, "I would love too...I really don't have anyone that I know nearby and I would like to talk with you some more...and uh..." feeling a blush creep up his cheeks, Houjo looked away from Kagome.

Puzzled by his actions, Kagome touched his shoulder and bent closer to him, "what...what is it?" Gulping, Houjo turned to face Kagome again and tried to stay strong, "I would like to hear you sing again...and uh...if it's alright with your companions, I would like to join your group and help you all in any way that I can."

Her heart beat started to pick up as she contemplated Houjo's request, after a few moments Kagome gave a firm nod of her head, "thank you...I would love to have you join us. But I just wanted to ask, what about your family...won't they be worried about you?"

Jerking, Houjo let his eyes close as he looked at his feet, "no...they couldn't care less about me...I...I am weak..." feeling tears prickling at his eyes, Houjo gripped his legs as hard as he could, trying his hardest to keep his tears at bay.

As if sensing Houjo's sadness, Kagome gripped his wrist and pulled him as close to her as she could, "your not weak Houjo. You just have a different strength, you do not like to fight physically and you prefer to solve things in the most peaceful way you can think of, that is nothing to be ashamed of..."

Suddenly feeling very exposed, Kagome felt her face flush in embarrassment as she released her hold upon Houjo and slowly got to her feet, rubbing her legs Kagome turned away from Houjo and walked a few feet away from him. A gust of wind blew past and lifted several locks of her hair, the breeze was cool and Kagome wondered if it was stinging her heated cheeks. Now that she was changed, her heart was the only part of her that could feel, it was like the rest of her had gone completely numb.

Houjo had watched mutely as Kagome moved away and he tried his best to not smile, but Kagome's words kept repeating in his befuddled mind and Houjo soon found himself unable to just sit there. Getting to his feet, Houjo took a deep breath to steel himself before he approached Kagome, as if sensing his approach she had turned to face him but her head was tilted to where he could not see her expression through her black bangs.

"Kagome?" Bending slightly to where he could peak underneath her bangs, Houjo was surprised when Kagome shoved him away lightly, an amused smile crossing her lips. "Let's go Houjo."

With that said, Kagome didn't even wait for a reply as she turned and started back towards where she knew the camp was located. Houjo stood stock still for a moment as he watched Kagome's back before straightening his shoulders and starting out after her, this was something he wanted to fight for and woe to anyone who said otherwise.

* * *

A/N- And there it is...anyway, I have no idea when I'm going to finish this story, but I guess we'll see sometime. But as a last note, the next chapt is in progress and will be up whenever I finish it...

So until then,

Ja Ne!


	5. Pt 5: Requests

Truth Is The Hardest Pill To Swallow

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A/N- Hey, and welcome to chapt 5! Sorry for the long delay...I've been really busy...

But here is the next chapt!

Disclaimer- InuYasha is not mine, nor will it ever be, so why even ask?

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapt!

'_Thoughts_'

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Part 5: Requests

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Kagome's Pov-

Feelings come and feelings go. That is but a simple part of everyday life and one of the many lessons I have learned. Even though in learning so, I found that I was still a child in many ways.

You never really realize such a fact until it comes and bites you on the ass. And though it's hard to figure out why I ever acted the way I did, well, let's just say I was a troubled youth.

But I guess the point is that the older you get the more you realize how much of a child you really are, not to mention how much farther you still have to go to grow up.

Just like it was for me back then.

It wasn't hard to fall out of love with InuYasha, just as it wasn't hard to fall in love once again. Not hard but unexpected none the less...

You could say that he was my first love, something that was as inevitable as it was understandable. He'd saved my life on more than one occasion, so it was only natural that I'd develop such feelings for him.

But still, it was only my first love and there was more in store for me than I'd ever thought possible.

Just as no one could have seen the path that would open to us all, especially to Houjou and I. But one can't see the future, even if they are from the future itself.

Even though it still seems like it was just yesterday I can still remember the looks on everyone's faces when Houjou and I returned to camp. Kikyou was the only one who didn't look surprised, which was unexpected, at least until _'it' _happened.

Yes...that was the moment that decided it all...

Normal Pov-

She wanted to laugh.

It had been the funniest sight that she had ever seen.

Houjou had been extremely jittery all the way back to camp and Kagome had done her best to settle him down, in the end she had to hold his hand before he finally seemed to calm, even the smallest bit.

As they had entered the camp Kagome took a look around, which is when she saw it.

InuYasha was currently sprawled out on the ground, one of his back legs lifted into the air. She knew that he must have fallen out of the tree in his sleep, but it was where he was positioned before the tree that had her breaking out in a fit of giggles.

Heck, she could even hear Houjou struggling not to laugh behind her. '_I knew he was a dog demon but this is just too much! Why can't he go find a bush or something?_' Kagome snorted at her own thoughts and finally caught InuYasha's attention.

As InuYasha lifted his head and turned to regard her in confusion, Kagome lost it. Sinking to her knees, Kagome erupted in a fit of rancorous laughter, her mirth only building when InuYasha's face turned red and his ears went back.

Apparently he had noticed what she had and was now feeling extremely embarrassed, getting to his feet, he stomped over and gripped Kagome by the shoulder, shaking her roughly. "Shut up Kagome, before you wake the others! And that wasn't funny!!"

Shaking her head, Kagome swatted InuYasha's hand off before she got back to her feet. She spared InuYasha a simple glance before turning and gripping Houjou by the wrist, tugging him after her as she made her way over to where Sango sat blinking sleepily.

Sitting down and pulling Houjou down beside her, Kagome gave Sango a pleading look, "Sango, I need a favor, a pretty big one too." Rubbing at her eyes, Sango yawned once before straitening herself out, nodding her head in understanding.

Letting out the breath she had been holding, Kagome pointed to the rather confused Houjou, "I want you to teach him how to fight."

No sooner had she uttered those words that InuYasha's voice filled the entire clearing, waking anything and everything within ten miles.

"WHAT?!"

Miroku was suddenly on his feet, his cursed hand poised and ready for battle. Shippou let out a loud screech of surprise as he leapt to attention as well, his whole body stiff. Sango was more than awake now and was currently giving Kagome a look that clearly asked, '_your not shitting me are you?_'

As all eyes turned from Kagome to Houjou and back again, Houjou could only stare at Kagome in utter surprise, this hadn't been what he expected at all when he had told Kagome he would return with her. '_She can't be serious...can she?_'

Noticing that everyone was currently looking at her like she was a madwoman, Kagome let out a sigh in frustration, she had thought that Sango at least would get it but apparently not. Shaking her head, Kagome was about to speak when Kikyou stepped before her, "Kagome is right, if we are to defeat Naraku then we shall need all the help that we can get. As long as you're willing young sir, then I for one shall teach you everything that I know of the bow."

Houjou's face filled with confusion as his eyes flicked from the priestess before him, to where Kagome sat behind her, realization and clarity finally filled his eyes and he bowed his head in respect to the woman before him. "I will accept any help that you offer milady, you honor me."

Kikyou just smiled before turning and making her way back to where she had been before, standing near the edge of the clearing. Seeing this, Kagome motioned for Houjou to stay where he was before getting to her feet and making her way over to Kikyou's side.

Once she reached her, Kagome reached out and touched Kikyou's shoulder, "thank you for helping me."

Kikyou merely shook her head, "there's no need for that. You must have had a reason for asking Sango to teach that young man and I will stand at your side. The truth is, there is not much time left, as you very well know Kagome."

Nodding her head gravely, Kagome spared a glance back at the other's, "yes, I can feel it. The end is getting closer and closer, to tell you the truth. I have no idea why I asked Sango to teach Houjou, or why I even brought him back with me in the first place."

Digging her shoe in the ground, Kagome narrowed her eyes, "It's strange, but I feel that he has some role to play in all this. Besides, I don't want him getting killed just because he didn't take the time to learn how to defend himself."

Kikyou just smiled sadly at Kagome, "It's only going to get more confusing as time moves on, there's much that boy needs to learn and we don't have much time to teach him in. But I promise you Kagome, we will be ready when the time comes to face Naraku and Houjou will be able to fight."

Happy that Kikyou was serious when it came to supporting and helping her, Kagome gave Kikyou a hug, "Thank you."

Breaking the hug after a couple moments, Kagome and Kikyou shared a soft smile before walking back to join the others. Each hoping that they were both right.

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A/N- And that's this chapt, finally...

Sorry about the wait, again. I really suck at this sometimes, but at least I'm still trying. That's better than nothing...right?

Whelp, please tell me what ya'll think and I'll try to get the next chapt done soon.

After all, I'm trying to update at least one chapt for each of my stories, so if you're waiting on one of the other's...no worries, the next chapt will be up as soon as I'm done with it!

But till then...

Ja Ne!


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